I'm Sorry, I Love You
by TunaForDesert
Summary: Those who have died can never be able to return, and Tsuna regrets things he'd never said to Totsuka.


**I do not own both anime.**

Start.

* * *

The nineteen year old boy stared outside the window, brown eyes blank as the snow melted against the glass. His wild styled brown hair looked darker than it used too. The room was dark as the only light that illuminated it was a dimly lit lamp from his study table. Brown honey eyes switched and swept across the room. Images of distant happy memories that were created inside the very room flashed before him, leaving only painful scar that would permanently cannot be heal.

Tsuna buried his face between his knees. The hard painful tears that he tried to hide from everyone were finally free, leaving a trail of salty tears on his lightly tanned cheeks.

_Why?_

The question had been haunting him since then. He wanted to cry out, cry out so loudly that everyone will know the pain that he felt. He wanted to trash everything, relieving his unfathomable anger and sadness. He wanted to blame everyone for the pain, the tears. But the one that he wanted to put everything on was _him_.

That man who was the cause of his suffering.

Tsuna choked down the last slump of tears.

_Why?_

'_I love you. I want to stay with you forever.'_

Tsuna cried harder. What was the point of that promise of he cannot keep it? He asked himself over and over again. The brunet clutched his pants, his face still buried between his stomach and knees as finally, a small whimper escaped.

'_Everything would be perfect soon. I've got a job that would pay enough to support us both! Isn't that great, Tsuna? We can move in together! I'm so happy!'_

It was a happy news. Tsuna found himself bouncing with excitement as he lunged towards his lover, face buried on that lithe chest.

The brunet knew how pathetic he looked right now. Face streaked with angry tears. But the honey eyes owner only let the salty substance ran down freely, as if it would carry off the pain from his chest. Tsuna cried harder, wanting to lose himself in the dark abyss for this time only.

"Why?"

The small raspy voice echoed silently inside the dark room. Outside, the day had ended, leaving only dark night with small snows descended upon the earth.

'_I love you, Tsuna. Do you know that? I have since the first time I met you.'_

'_S-senpai, what-'_

'_I know it's wrong for a man to feel like this towards another man! But please, please give me a chance!'_

It was quite a sappy confession from him. Tsuna wanted to chuckle, remembering how the older man had confessed and asked for a chance. But the tears once again found their way and only sob left the broken brunet.

Their relationship was a happy and stable one. Both of them attended the same college and their friends and families both supported the happy couple. Of course there were some nasty leers from their peers but they brushed it off easily.

'_Don't listen to them! Just believe in ourselves, our love that we're never wrong. I know you love me just as how much I love you, if not more, so please don't listen to them!'_

Tsuna rested himself on his bed, finally giving in to the restlessness his body had carried since days ago. He faced the wall, tears still streaming down like a steady pace of beautiful pink pearls. The brunet curled in, wanting to shut down the rest of the world and be by himself for a moment.

_I love you too. I love you too, Tatara-san. I've never said that to you, not even once because of my selfish insecurity. I didn't think about how you feel much more insecure than me. Do you hear me now, Tatara-san? I'm sorry. I love you. So please say that you love me too, no matter where you are. I love you with everything I have. I love you with the love that Adam shared with his wife. I love you with my childhood innocence and feelings. I love you purely with the love that only we know. This feeling is only for you. You know that, right?_

Tsuna desperately wanted to go back in time and say that all to him. He wanted to ease off the stupid insecurities that he had unknowingly planted in Tatara's heart. The man had loved him freely, as free as a bird that flies in the open sky. But Tsuna knew that even Tatara had his own moment of feeling vulnerable.

'_Tsuna, I love you. Do you love me too?'_

'…_.'_

'_That's okay, I can wait. Someday, you'll be able to tell me how much you love me. I have faith in you.'_

Tsuna cried harder. But the tears did nothing to ease his swollen heart. The tears kept coming, and Tsuna let it out without hesitation.

'_I can wait.'_

'_I can wait.'_

'_I can wait.'_

Tsuna finally gave in and wailed painfully. The wait that Tatara had spoken of once upon a time long ago was for nothing. He was gone, leaving Tsuna alone in this large space of world. In the end, even during his last time, Tsuna never got to say that he loved him so much that he almost suffocates because of this feeling.

Tatara's last words made Tsuna wanted to take his own life and follow the man to the afterlife, if only to make sure that they would be together with each other forever.

'_Tell Tsuna that I love him, and that I know I always will. Even though years would pass by and Tsuna would find someone else, I know this feeling won't fade. He is my all. Tell him, that I have always known that he loves me too, though he'd never said it.'_

_Idiot….._

Tsuna's tears were still trailing down. His pillow had damped under his cold cheek. The brunet closed his eyes, and slowly drifted off to dreamland, where there would be nothing but sweet memories that he'd shared with Tatara would be waiting.

An almost invisible and untouchable hand slowly landed itself on Tsuna's wet and cold cheek. A small, nostalgic and sad smile was curved up on the thin lips. The man, who was in his early twenties, slowly leaned in. Soft lips brushed upon the brunet's forehead.

Totsuka Tatara stared lovingly at the love of his life. Slowly, tears brimming with happiness pooled around light brown orbs. With a soft whisper that only the smallest of being could hear, the lithe body of Tatara turned into thousands of beaming golden small butterflies. The mythical creatures escaped through the small creak of the window, flew into the clarity of the moon before it scattered and lost upon naked eyes.

_Thank you, and I'm sorry. I love you too, Tsuna._

* * *

End.

I can't believe I wrote something as depressing as this. But oh well, I feel uncomfortable with writing only [K] so I figured to make a crossover, again. While writing this I listened to Pretty Boy by M2M, now someone tell me why I shouldn't feel depress. I fucking cried while writing Tsuna's part! Eto, Totsuka is a part of Homra, Tsuna is a normal college student with Totsuka as his senpai (who had graduated). So the stupid Colourless (and bodiless) King shot our favourite vassal of Red King and Tsuna is sad. I can't believe [K] is going to end...and also KHR...


End file.
